A Salad Rant

Every now and then, I'll see something health or diet related that really irks me.  It's always something that makes me go.."Are you serious?  You can't believe what you're doing is actually healthy, can you?"  And yet of course they think that, because obviously they don't read my blog.  Makes me wish I had some big "foodguru802" stickers to go and slap on the shirts of health violators, you know what I mean?  But I digress.  What's the subject of this rant?  Well my friends, it's a little topic I like to call the ignorant salad eaters.

Salads are great.  No...they're BEYOND great.  Packed with nutrients, loaded with fiber, absolutely 100% healthy for you in their most RAW forms.  They have the power to keep you healthy for extended periods of time, and make sure your body stays in tip top condition throughout all you put it through.  I contribute my uncannily good health throughout last winter's cold and flu season to my large salad/vegetable intake, and while I'll never know for sure if it was the veggies or shear luck that kept me healthy as a horse, I can definitely assume that all those raw foods played at least a little role.  Salads are powerful things.

But....they're not miracle workers.  They don't have the power to counteract a bad complimentary meal.  What really frustrates me is to see someone with a plate loaded high with chicken nuggets, garlic bread, french fries, and cookies, at the salad bar to make sure they cancel out some of that bad food with a nice green salad (smothered in ranch may I add).  What are you guys thinking???  Don't get me wrong, it's great to get some veggies in regardless of whatever else you eat, but seriously, look at your waistline.  There's a reason your pants barely fit.  What you're doing is the equivalent of piling the stinkiest garbage you can on the floor, then trying to get rid of the smell with a can of Febreeze.  That garbage is still going to reek no matter how much of that wretched spray you end up using.

Sure, maybe they're just getting salad because they like salad.  And I'd be willing to believe that, or at least give them the benefit of the doubt, until half the time they open their mouth to their friends and say something along the lines of "Gotta be healthy today and grab my salad."  Are you kidding me?  See that face sized cookie on your plate?  You threw all illusions of healthy out the window when you picked that sucker off the shelf.  Salads don't counteract bad foods.

Oh, and just so we're clear, salads don't counteract bad dressings either.  Sure, that marvelous combination of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and chickpeas may be a fantastic meal on its own, but once it's smothered in a cup of fatty ranch, or oily Italian, or sugary rasperry vinaigrette, it loses most of its illusions of health.  It's not completely destroyed, but now it has probably three times as many calories, and two thirds of those calories now have absolutely no benefit to you.  If you're going to dress your salad, pretend it's dressing for a hot summer day and do it MINIMALLY.

So there's my little salad rant.  By all means, eat as many greens as you can, they'll work wonders for your health, that I can guarantee.  But there is no magic in those leaves, or those tomatoes, or those beans.  They're vegetables, and only have the power to help you by themselves, not counteract all the other crap you may decide to shovel in your mouth.  Get it?  Awesome.  Food Guru out.