Eating, The Manly Way

Let's face it.  Eating "healthy" sure doesn't sound manly.  It sounds like you're some pansy who's trying to watch their figure and stay trim.  Seriously, who wants to be all meek, skinny, and worst of all, weak?  Now there's nothing wrong with trying to lose a few pounds, but it just so happens that you're a man, and men should eat big, meaty, chunky meals that fill their belly and build big, strong, manly muscles.  How else are you going to move that massive weight?  The good news is that you can eat that masculine food you love, and still be lean, ripped, and BEASTLY.  

Oh, and to any women readers, there's no sexist nature intended in this article, it's all in good fun.  You can enjoy this food too, and get the exact same benefits, I promise.


So let's go over a list of the manliest, most heftily nutrient packed muscle building man foods we can find, and see if we can't figure out how to fill that plate with something big and meaty (and then maybe slip a few of those meager little veggies on the side...as if they'll even fit...HAR HAR.)


Beef:  Steak, ribs, burgers, veil, ground up, I don't care.  Beef is delicious, protein packed, and filled with so many nutrients that I won't be able to list them all here.  It's packed with B-12 and B-6, two vitamins that will aid in maintaining healthy metabolism and high energy levels, as well as assisting in central nervous system health.  We've already mentioned the protein, you'll get a LOT of it in every delicious, perfectly juicy bite.  Worried about the fat content?  Of course you're not!  And you shouldn't be, as every bit of fat in that beef is beneficial in some way.  Most of the fat is monounsaturated fat, the same stuff in olive oil!  The saturated fat is actually an EXCELLENT energy source, and may actually aid in losing weight, as it encourages your body to use fat as fuel instead of sugary carbs.  And contrary to popular belief, the saturated fat in beef isn't related to rising levels of bad cholesterol.  Pile a big fat steak on your plate and dig in, beef will make you BEEFY.

Whole milk:  That's right, we don't need none of that frilly "fat free" stuff, we want the whole, creamy, yummy, thick and refreshing kind of milk, the way nature intended it.  Every cup of whole milk is packed with 8 grams of protein from various sources including both whey and casein, and the natural sugars are great post workout to help those growing muscles suck up all those nutrients quick.  Mix in some whey protein and you've got yourself some of the most delicious drinkable stuff on earth.  And the fat?  It's the same deal here.  Saturated fat gets a bad rap, but when it's in its natural form it is actually quite healthy.  It will benefit blood lipid levels and is an AWESOME source of energy.  Pour a glass and be proud of that milk mustache.

Bacon:  OK....seriously...WHO DOESN'T LOVE BACON?  Thought you had to avoid it on a healthy diet???  WRONG-OH!!!!  Bacon is no less healthy than many cuts of chicken, turkey, beef, or any other meat you can think of off hand.  Sure it has some fat in it, but that fat, once again, is a great LOW CARB energy source that will both satiate you quickly and actually elevate your mood.  That's right, dietary fat makes you happy.  Before you complain that it can't be part of a clean diet, realize that there are thousands of people who've lost untold amounts of body fat while eating bacon almost every day.  Don't believe me?  Just do some online searching.  Bacon, like beef, is also packed with B vitamins, and DEM DER PROTEEEEEIIINNSSS.  I can hear those heavenly strips sizzling now, mmmmm.  Breakfast of the gods.

Eggs:  Fry 'em, scramble 'em, poach 'em, boil 'em, and PIG OUT.  Egg protein is one of the greatest sources of protein in the entire world, with a bio-availability in the high 90%'s when cooked.  That means your body can use almost all of the protein available in eggs with the upmost efficiency to build strong, lean muscle.  BUT, as manly as it may look, drinking raw eggs is a bad idea.  When left uncooked, egg protein only has a bio-availability of about 50%, so much of that protein is wasted in your body.  Plus, nobody wants salmonella.  You won't look too manly puking your guts out all night, right?  But seriously, eat those eggs.  Oh, and dietary cholesterol hasn't been proven to have nearly ANY effect on blood cholesterol, so don't worry about that either.  Sound good?  Great.

Sausage:  Awww yeah, brautwerst anyone?  Sausage comes in all shapes and sizes, with all sorts of fillings.  Sure, it's not the highest quality meat you can buy, but it's a great source of protein and has a lot of healthy fats in it as well.  Want something lean?  Go for the chicken or turkey sausage.  Want the tastiest thing this side of Neptune?  Get some biggun's packed with pork and beef, and pile them next to that big morning omelette.  I recommend eating sausage in moderation, but you definitely don't have to cut it out of your diet.  Just watch the sodium, as it can pile up quickly in certain kinds.  Also, look at the ingredients, and make sure as much of the stuff inside is stuff you can pronounce, preferably meat without additives.

Peanut Butter:  I eat this stuff by the spoonful.  Packed with healthy fats and Omega-6 fatty acids, peanut butter is the bomb.  It's an incredible source of healthy calories, especially when you get the natural, or "natty" stuff.  Natty PB brah...all the way.  In fact, the best peanut butter out there has the fewest ingredients.  While the general rule of thumb is to make sure there is NO trans fat in the peanut butter, you also generally want to avoid the stuff with "partially hydrogenated vegetable oils."  Those oils are used to make sure the peanut oil doesn't separate out of the butter itself, which is a pretty useless task unless someone is unbelievable lazy.  A little stirring might help those forearms develop anyway.  Brands I like are Teddie natural chunky, Smucker's natural, Jif Natural, Naturally More, and Power Butter.  Go ahead and have a couple tablespoons, and watch those muscles EXPLODE.

Spinach:  OK, you may be looking at me funny.  But hey, if it made Popeye a monster, it could do the same to you.  It's an aquired taste, but the aggressive flavor almost makes it manlier, right?  Try some light sauces or spices on it to make it more palletable, like mustard, salsa, cayenne pepper, curry powder, whatever floats your boat.  It's packed with vitamins and minerals, and will help you lose extra  body fat covering those shredded guns of yours.  Have a couple of forkfuls a day, and release your inner Popeye.

There you go you beastly dude you, eat up and get big, shredded, ripped, and NOTICED.  Enjoy your meat, your steak, your peanut butter, and those huge, giant, bacon filled omelettes.  Compliment any of these manly dishes with a side of veggies and you're in business.  You can eat healthy and retain your manhood, it's easy!  Now go eat some food, lift some weight, and growl at all the little meager folks cowering away from you.  You're a beast, and noone gets in your way.

GOOD LUCK DUDES!

Vegetables: To Cook or not to Cook?

I've always been intrigued by the debate about which is healthier:  Cooked vegetables or raw vegetables.  The claim by many is that cooking vegetables removes significant levels of the nutrients in them, therefore they become less beneficial to the human body.  The other side of the argument (which I tend to lean toward) is the fact that we as humans have weak digestive systems, and are unable to process much of the raw, fibrous plant matter contained in uncooked vegetables, so while even though more nutrients may be present in raw veggies, we can't actually absorb them.  There's good data for both sides of this argument, and many reasons to mix it up and have both cooked and raw veggies in your diet.

Reasons to cook vegetables:

1.  Easily accessible nutrients:  Across the board, all the vitamins present in vegetables (A, B1, B2, B3, C, E, etc.) tend to be more easily absorbed because the vegetables are softer, and easier to digest.  This means theoretically that while cooked vegetables have a tad less of each vitamin compared to their raw counterpart, you end up getting MORE of those leftover nutrients than you would have gotten originally if you'd just eaten the vegetable raw.

(Here's a chart displaying the amount of each main vitamin in various vegetables when they're both raw and cooked:  http://www.beyondveg.com/tu-j-l/raw-cooked/raw-cooked-2f.shtml)

2.  Beta Carotene- This extremely powerful nutrient present in many vegetables (especially carrots) is absorbed much more readily when the vegetables are lightly steamed.  Beta Carotene converts to Vitamin A in the body, which will aid in eyesight (ever heard the myth that if you eat enough carrots you can see in the dark?)

3.  Antioxidants- Same deal here.  Useful antioxidants like carotenoids and ferulic acid are utilized by the body much more effectively if vegetables are steamed or boiled.   

4.  They taste better!  At least this is what the majority of people agree upon.  I am partial to cooked vegetables myself, they're quite delicious, warm, easy to chew, and the flavors are much more palatable.  My friends would be a little stunned to see this because I'm usually munching on a pack of raw baby carrots or a stick of celery.  However if given the choice, I'll choose cooked every time.

5.  You can eat more of them!  Cooked veggies aren't as fibrous as raw veggies, and therefore won't fill you up as fast.  That means you can cram more of those useful nutrients down your gullet before your body tells you to stop.  On a muscle building diet, this is a must.  

6.  Anti nutrients are destroyed:  These things won't kill you, but they definitely won't help you.  But what exactly is an anti nutrient?  A good analogy is an apple seed.  The seeds are the valuable part of the apple, and the apple tree doesn't want you to eat its future offspring, therefore apple seeds have evolved to contain traces of cyanide.  Raw grains contain many anti nutrients, and the amount you absorb can be reduced by cooking them before consumption.  This destroys a good portion of those pesky little devils, and the analogy holds true with vegetables (mostly beans) as well.  

Reasons to leave them raw:

1.  They fill you up!  Raw vegetables are extremely fibrous, especially greens like lettuce, broccoli, celery, and spinach.  These foods all are extremely low calorie, healthy snacks that can fill your belly in a heartbeat if you're having one of those hungry hungry hippo moments.  Try a cup of raw broccoli sometime.  No, it may not taste great, but you'll definitely feel like you've eaten a significant meal.  

2.  Easy to snack on:  Raw veggies are easy to pack up.  Try packing a bag full of carrots, celery, pepper slices, and broccoli and I guarantee you'll end up with a filling snack that didn't take more than two minutes to make.  Raw vegetables are firm and robust, and won't be easily crushed.  They're relatively dry as well, so you won't soak the rest of your lunch by accident.  Plus, raw vegetables give that satisfying crunch, and if you can get used to the natural taste, you're golden.  

3.  More Vitamin C:  This vitamin tends to be the one that gets the bad end of the stick when veggies are cooked.  Much of the vitamin C is destroyed by steaming, boiling, or frying, so if you're looking for a little more in your diet (and you should be) then crunch on a few raw veggies today.  

4.  They make your body work!  Have you ever heard of negative calorie foods?  Well stop thinking about them right now, because there are huge debates on whether they exist or not, and the evidence is leaning toward a big fat NO.  However that doesn't mean your body isn't expending large amounts of energy to digest raw foods such as celery and broccoli, and the few calories that are in those foods make them great choices to give your digestive system a workout.  This isn't a pointless endeavor, a healthy digestive system can save you from all sorts of health troubles later in life.  The fiber in those tomatoes will only do you good!  

I say have them both ways!  Veggies are good for you no matter if they're steamed, boiled, fried, cooked, or right off the vine.  I love the way they taste each way, and once you try a few I bet you'll like them too.  Buy some baby carrot packs and much on them at work, or on a walk, or while you're outside reading a book, or while you're cooking dinner, whenever, wherever however you like!  In my opinion, there isn't really ever a bad time to have some vegetables.  

Load those plates high, crunch into a few carrots, and enjoy!