Eating, The Manly Way

Let's face it.  Eating "healthy" sure doesn't sound manly.  It sounds like you're some pansy who's trying to watch their figure and stay trim.  Seriously, who wants to be all meek, skinny, and worst of all, weak?  Now there's nothing wrong with trying to lose a few pounds, but it just so happens that you're a man, and men should eat big, meaty, chunky meals that fill their belly and build big, strong, manly muscles.  How else are you going to move that massive weight?  The good news is that you can eat that masculine food you love, and still be lean, ripped, and BEASTLY.  

Oh, and to any women readers, there's no sexist nature intended in this article, it's all in good fun.  You can enjoy this food too, and get the exact same benefits, I promise.


So let's go over a list of the manliest, most heftily nutrient packed muscle building man foods we can find, and see if we can't figure out how to fill that plate with something big and meaty (and then maybe slip a few of those meager little veggies on the side...as if they'll even fit...HAR HAR.)


Beef:  Steak, ribs, burgers, veil, ground up, I don't care.  Beef is delicious, protein packed, and filled with so many nutrients that I won't be able to list them all here.  It's packed with B-12 and B-6, two vitamins that will aid in maintaining healthy metabolism and high energy levels, as well as assisting in central nervous system health.  We've already mentioned the protein, you'll get a LOT of it in every delicious, perfectly juicy bite.  Worried about the fat content?  Of course you're not!  And you shouldn't be, as every bit of fat in that beef is beneficial in some way.  Most of the fat is monounsaturated fat, the same stuff in olive oil!  The saturated fat is actually an EXCELLENT energy source, and may actually aid in losing weight, as it encourages your body to use fat as fuel instead of sugary carbs.  And contrary to popular belief, the saturated fat in beef isn't related to rising levels of bad cholesterol.  Pile a big fat steak on your plate and dig in, beef will make you BEEFY.

Whole milk:  That's right, we don't need none of that frilly "fat free" stuff, we want the whole, creamy, yummy, thick and refreshing kind of milk, the way nature intended it.  Every cup of whole milk is packed with 8 grams of protein from various sources including both whey and casein, and the natural sugars are great post workout to help those growing muscles suck up all those nutrients quick.  Mix in some whey protein and you've got yourself some of the most delicious drinkable stuff on earth.  And the fat?  It's the same deal here.  Saturated fat gets a bad rap, but when it's in its natural form it is actually quite healthy.  It will benefit blood lipid levels and is an AWESOME source of energy.  Pour a glass and be proud of that milk mustache.

Bacon:  OK....seriously...WHO DOESN'T LOVE BACON?  Thought you had to avoid it on a healthy diet???  WRONG-OH!!!!  Bacon is no less healthy than many cuts of chicken, turkey, beef, or any other meat you can think of off hand.  Sure it has some fat in it, but that fat, once again, is a great LOW CARB energy source that will both satiate you quickly and actually elevate your mood.  That's right, dietary fat makes you happy.  Before you complain that it can't be part of a clean diet, realize that there are thousands of people who've lost untold amounts of body fat while eating bacon almost every day.  Don't believe me?  Just do some online searching.  Bacon, like beef, is also packed with B vitamins, and DEM DER PROTEEEEEIIINNSSS.  I can hear those heavenly strips sizzling now, mmmmm.  Breakfast of the gods.

Eggs:  Fry 'em, scramble 'em, poach 'em, boil 'em, and PIG OUT.  Egg protein is one of the greatest sources of protein in the entire world, with a bio-availability in the high 90%'s when cooked.  That means your body can use almost all of the protein available in eggs with the upmost efficiency to build strong, lean muscle.  BUT, as manly as it may look, drinking raw eggs is a bad idea.  When left uncooked, egg protein only has a bio-availability of about 50%, so much of that protein is wasted in your body.  Plus, nobody wants salmonella.  You won't look too manly puking your guts out all night, right?  But seriously, eat those eggs.  Oh, and dietary cholesterol hasn't been proven to have nearly ANY effect on blood cholesterol, so don't worry about that either.  Sound good?  Great.

Sausage:  Awww yeah, brautwerst anyone?  Sausage comes in all shapes and sizes, with all sorts of fillings.  Sure, it's not the highest quality meat you can buy, but it's a great source of protein and has a lot of healthy fats in it as well.  Want something lean?  Go for the chicken or turkey sausage.  Want the tastiest thing this side of Neptune?  Get some biggun's packed with pork and beef, and pile them next to that big morning omelette.  I recommend eating sausage in moderation, but you definitely don't have to cut it out of your diet.  Just watch the sodium, as it can pile up quickly in certain kinds.  Also, look at the ingredients, and make sure as much of the stuff inside is stuff you can pronounce, preferably meat without additives.

Peanut Butter:  I eat this stuff by the spoonful.  Packed with healthy fats and Omega-6 fatty acids, peanut butter is the bomb.  It's an incredible source of healthy calories, especially when you get the natural, or "natty" stuff.  Natty PB brah...all the way.  In fact, the best peanut butter out there has the fewest ingredients.  While the general rule of thumb is to make sure there is NO trans fat in the peanut butter, you also generally want to avoid the stuff with "partially hydrogenated vegetable oils."  Those oils are used to make sure the peanut oil doesn't separate out of the butter itself, which is a pretty useless task unless someone is unbelievable lazy.  A little stirring might help those forearms develop anyway.  Brands I like are Teddie natural chunky, Smucker's natural, Jif Natural, Naturally More, and Power Butter.  Go ahead and have a couple tablespoons, and watch those muscles EXPLODE.

Spinach:  OK, you may be looking at me funny.  But hey, if it made Popeye a monster, it could do the same to you.  It's an aquired taste, but the aggressive flavor almost makes it manlier, right?  Try some light sauces or spices on it to make it more palletable, like mustard, salsa, cayenne pepper, curry powder, whatever floats your boat.  It's packed with vitamins and minerals, and will help you lose extra  body fat covering those shredded guns of yours.  Have a couple of forkfuls a day, and release your inner Popeye.

There you go you beastly dude you, eat up and get big, shredded, ripped, and NOTICED.  Enjoy your meat, your steak, your peanut butter, and those huge, giant, bacon filled omelettes.  Compliment any of these manly dishes with a side of veggies and you're in business.  You can eat healthy and retain your manhood, it's easy!  Now go eat some food, lift some weight, and growl at all the little meager folks cowering away from you.  You're a beast, and noone gets in your way.

GOOD LUCK DUDES!

Get Big, The Right Way

Sometimes, if you want something done, you just have to man up and do it.  I'm sorry ladies, but I don't believe this article will too strongly apply to you (there's always the occasional exception, but I'm speaking to the majority here).  I know a ton of guys out there wanting to get all big and strong, burly and beefy.  It's a common goal, one that many males wish to accomplish as soon as they possibly can.  Unfortunately, getting big isn't so simple, and there are thousands out there doing it wrong, or not doing it at all, day in and day out.  Getting big the right way takes work and commitment.  It takes sacrifice and determination.  And above all else, it requires a lot of food, and, as Ronnie Coleman (7 time Mr. Olympia) so famously put it, "lifting heavy ass weight."

So where do you start?  How do you jump on that muscle building train?  First of all, you have to realize that a good mass building regiment will require a change in diet and exercise routine.  Let's talk diet first.  A lot of people just think that to get big, you have to eat big.  OK, I can follow that train of thought, and to a certain point I will agree.  When it comes down to it, IF YOU WANT TO GET BIG, YOU NEED TO EAT BIG.  

What does eating big really mean though?

Well, in most general bulking terms, eating big means eating around 500 calories OVER your maintenance calories, or the caloric value at which you can maintain your weight.   There's a lot of room for little nuances here and there, but this is the most general formula.  And most of the time, it will relate to about a one pound increase in body weight per week.  Later, I'll describe what else you need to be doing to make the most of those extra calories, and ensure to a certain degree that you're putting on as much muscle as you can.

Where should these extra calories come from?

Well, the uneducated meat-head would most likely scream out...PROTEIN!!!  While there's value in that statement, and while you should consume more protein, the calories should really be a mix of nutrients that fit into your macros (remember macros? If not, here's my article about these wondrously useful little things: http://foodguru802.blogspot.com/2011/10/macros-what-they-are-and-how-to-use.html ).  I would suggest starting with macros that are pretty close to around 55/25/20 (55% of daily calories come from carbs, 25% of daily calories come from protein, 20% of daily calories come from fat).  You'll need to determine the actual amounts yourself, depending on the calories you calculate you'll need to take in.  Here's a free calculator that can help determine your daily caloric needs:

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

Here's the deal.  Bulking requires experimentation to determine what your body responds to best.  If you go a few weeks on a new diet and find you aren't gaining weight, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE SOMETHING!!!!  You won't gain weight if you don't find the right diet.  Either eat more, or change around your macros.  Sometimes something as simple as a few more daily carbs can kick start the weight gain.

If you gain for a while on a certain diet, then stop, most likely you need to increase your calories.  Go slowly, add another 100 or 200 every day and see what happens after a week or two.  Also, keep your macro ratios consistent.  They were working...right?  Don't bulk too fast, or you'll end up putting on unwanted bodyfat.  Though that's another point I should probably cover.  DON'T BE AFRAID TO PUT ON A LITTLE FAT.  To get big and strong, sometimes you need to sacrifice that perfect six pack.  If you're depressed about this, remember that if you're as skinny as a pole, abs don't count anyway.  You can always cut fat later, and with a higher muscle density, it will be much easier in the long run if you ever do decide to lean out.  If you're eating big, a little fat will inevitably show up.  Keep an eye on the mirror as well as the scale, and if you feel like you're putting on too much, either change your caloric intake, or your macros.

What are the best bulking foods?  Well, I like clean, slow bulks.  That's what I've been on for a few months now.  I'm not looking to pile on the weight, I just want a slow, steady gain.  So I eat big, but I eat as clean as I can.  My favorite bulking foods are:

Sweet Potatoes:  A great complex carb source, and without a doubt will help to put on quality mass.

Peanut Butter:  If you want to put on weight, peanut butter is your best friend.  It's easy to eat, and very dense in calories.  Get the natural stuff, and you'll get a whole heaping of healthy fats and proteins as well as a bunch of quality calories.  Quality calories=quality mass.

Mixed Nuts:  Same deal here, lots of calories for not that many pieces.  Easy to eat, and will help the weight come on nice and steadily.

Oatmeal with Whey Protein:  My favorite breakfast food.  Lots of complex carbs with a whole heaping of protein, will fuel those muscles and help them grow quite quickly.

Chocolate Milk:  Packed with calories, simple carbs, and an awesome blend of whey and casein protein that will feed your muscles for long after a workout.  Drink a glass with lunch, or more optimally, after a heavy workout.  You can even add some whey in there.  If you have a blender, you can add some peanut butter too.  Get creative!

What about meats?  Well I still eat very lean meats, like fish, chicken and turkey, but you can throw a few more caloric meats in there if you want.  Enjoy some steak, or pork every now and then, especially after a tough workout.  It'll really add mass quickly due to the high caloric value and protein density.  Not to mention it's amazingly delicious.

To finish off the diet section, I just want to say one more thing about clean bulking.  It's a great idea, and a noble one, but for some, it just doesn't work.  Honestly, if you're a hard gainer (gain weight extremely slowly if at all, no matter how much you seem to eat), you may need to throw a few "questionable" foods in your diet.  Enjoy a heaping plate of pasta with meat sauce a few nights a week, chow down on that burger or pazo, and have a big glass of chocolate milk a few times a day.  And keep spooning that peanut butter down your piehole.  There isn't a person on earth that can't eat enough to gain weight, so stop complaining that you can't put it on.

I will suggest clean bulking every day of my life, but "dirty-bulking" has its place, and has been known to work wonders for the impossibly skinny.  My advice? Stay as clean as you can, but don't be afraid of a big, greasy, meat packed burger once in a while.  You're trying to pack it on...right?

EXERCISE ROUTINE:

Now I don't want to make this section quite as long, however it has the potential to go on forever.  Let me start by saying this:  If you want a serious mass building routine, head over to bodybuilding.com, or look at some of Mark Rippetoe's stuff, or...well basically you HAVE TO DO YOUR RESEARCH.  I don't have the perfect routine for you.  Chances are no one does, you'll have to improvise, and see what works best.  But I'll give you the general gist of things.

THE BEST MASS BUILDING EXERCISES ARE COMPOUND MOVEMENTS

What does this mean?  It means squats, deadlifts, standing presses, bench presses, and more squats.  You want to use every muscle in your body in every single rep, with heavy weight.  The mass building rep range is generally 5-8 reps, though I've seen people recommend as little as 1-3 (though this is more strength training territory.)  Load up the weights, and push yourself with every set.  This is the only way to ensure that all those calories you're consuming go to where you want them to:  your muscles.

Why are compound movements the best?  First of all, they use a TON of muscles.  Second, they activate your biggest muscles (leg and back muscles) which in turn release testosterone which encourages maximum muscle growth.  Keep those weights heavy, and the intensity high.

Anatoly Pisarenko squatting as deep as possible

Franco Columbo completing a deadlift with textbook perfect form

If you're a hard gainer, and are having an extremely hard time putting on mass, here's what I suggest.  Cut your workouts a little short.  Do a couple fewer sets (but make the ones that you do count for double), so that you burn a few less calories, and those calories can in turn go toward rebuilding a bigger and stronger you.  It's that simple really.  Oh, and one more thing.  CUT CARDIO.  If you are already a hard gainer, cardio won't help.  If you really want to keep that treadmill in your workout, make sure you're eating like a horse.  I mean it.  A bull even, or an elephant.  Scarf those calories.

So there you have it.  The most basic ideas behind getting big.  As you may have seen they're not even close to one-size-fits-all, but like anything, it's a start.  Head over to bodybuilding.com if you want some real great mass building tips, and DO YOUR RESEARCH.  Like I said, getting big takes commitment.

Eat big, lift big, be the beast.  Good Luck!

Bodyweight Isn't Everything

I'm a firm believer in the fact that if you train hard as hell and eat right consistently, you can accomplish fantastic feats of strength, endurance, and power DESPITE being overweight, underweight, or right on your supposedly perfect "BMI."  That video above is partially of Caleb Ward (in the blue shirt), an upcoming 105kg+ class American Weightlifter.  Yes, you heard me right, he's in the 105kg+ class, which means he weighs over 230lbs.  Can most of you flip around like Caleb?  No?  I can't either, and I'm over 70lbs lighter.  Some of you may be absolute gym rats, completely ripped to shreds and strong as a bull.  Can you flip around like that?  I'd be inclined to say no.  A better question might be, could you clean 440lbs?  No?  Well not many can, but Caleb has done it, on multiple occasions.  He is an absolute powerhouse, one of the most consistent, strong, flexible,  and promising weight lifters in this country.  And if he was just walking down the street, I bet you'd just think he was overweight.

The point I'm trying to make with this article is as follows:  Even if you're overweight, you can still be extremely "fit."  And even if you're sitting right on your perfect weight ratio for your age, you can still be extremely unhealthy and out of shape.  What do I mean?  Well, I'll tell you stories of countless people I know who suffer from a condition called "skinny-fat."  This condition involves being very skinny, but eating like absolute crap.  I have a friend who's about 6' tall, weighs a whopping 128lbs, and last night for dinner had a heaping pile of linguine, then an entire cheese quesadilla, followed by two cream puffs and a donut.  He didn't touch a single vegetable, fruit, or protein (other than maybe the beef chunks he loaded into the quesadilla.)  How many calories would his dinner amount to?  I'd guess around 1700 for the dinner, and probably another 600 for the dessert.  And I can't even count the number of unhealthy sugar carbs he just had.  Honestly I was flabbergasted.  How could someone, ANYONE, eat like that, and expect to go about their merry way with no further consequences?

Here's news for all of you.  If you eat horribly like my friend here, no matter what your outward appearance may be, you WILL feel and perform like your body has never exercised a day in its life.  Do you think that someone who has this kind of diet can maximize their lifestyle and gym performance?  The answer is a big, fat, NO.  Your performance will reflect your preparation.  And your preparation (training) hinges on a balanced diet with all of the essential nutrients in carefully balanced ratios.  So it all comes back to food, and even those who are blessed with fast metabolisms will feel the wrath of the quesadillas eventually.

Here's some more food for thought, just because I believe the more evidence that's presented, the  more you'll be inclined to see what I mean about correct diet and training regardless of body weight.  Here's a quote from Menshealth.com regarding another weightlifter named Shane Hammond:

"Even the bulkiest Olympic heavyweights make astonishing leaps.  Shane Hamman, the top American lifter in the history of the sport, weighs in at 350 pounds but boasts a vertical jump of 36 inches.  Most NBA players top out at 34 inches.  Not only can Ham-man dunk (he's 5'9"), he can also drive a golf ball 350 yards."

Can you imagine a 350lb man who's 5'9" tall dunking a basketball over your head?  I find it a little hard to visualize, but not impossible.  Shane is as strong as a bull, and trains hard.  He eats BIG, but he eats right, as to all superheavyweights of the sport.  He is an epitome of human strength and power, and he gets around just fine at a weight that most people would need a wheelchair.

I believe seeing is believing though, so here's a few more feats of remarkable strength by those of remarkable size:

      A man who weighs 350lbs doing 13 pullups.

A 315lb man running what they claim to be a 4.6 forty (even if it was slightly slower, that guy is MOVING FAST).  This goes for a lot of NFL linebackers, I wouldn't doubt that most can run faster than I can.  Excuse the fowl language at the end of the video.

Pat Mendes, a US weightlifter weighing about 280lbs, jumping and touching a 10ft garage door.

Here's my final word.  I'm not going to suggest for a second that any of you should just drop your fears of becoming obese and beginning to eat as big as you want.  That's not the point.  My point is that eating right and training hard can make anyone an absolute monster in the field, on the court, on the platform, or anywhere else really.  Being overweight isn't good, no, but as you've seen it's not by any means the be all end all if it's not all fat and laziness crowding up your arteries.  And don't think for one second that just because you might be able to get away cramming that double cheeseburger without weight gain, that you'll be able to out-power or out-sprint the huge guy walking down the street who's been training for years on end and eating big and clean.  Performance rewards those who work for it, not those who get lucky.

Train hard as hell, eat as best you can, and as always, good luck!

Shane Hamman and his astounding vertical leap.